The Time-Out Controversy - by Dr. Cara Goodwin, PhD
A deep dive on the research behind whether time-out actually improves behavior and how it impacts emotional development and attachment

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Understanding the Controversy Surrounding Time-Out as a Discipline Strategy
- The gentle parenting movement emphasizes being empathetic and responsive to children's needs and prioritizing the parent-child relationship.
- Gentle parenting tends to oppose the use of time-out as a disciplinary measure, which runs counter to traditional research-backed parenting programs.
- The author, a psychologist and parent, initially had reservations about using time-out but decided to try it when dealing with aggression between their children.
- Time-out provided a brief separation and allowed the parent to calm down before addressing the situation with their 2-year-old.
- The use of time-out reduced the aggressive behavior towards the baby and improved the parent-child relationship.
- Despite the positive results, the author occasionally questions their choice of using time-out due to conflicting opinions on social media and blog posts.
- Time-out was developed as an alternative to physical punishment in the 1960s by psychologist Arthur Staats.
- It involves briefly removing the child from a rewarding or stimulating environment when they exhibit challenging behaviors.
- Time-out is based on the principles of time-out from positive reinforcement and time-out to calm down.
- Time-out aims to decrease the frequency of challenging behaviors by temporarily removing positive reinforcement and providing a brief break to calm down.
Research on the effectiveness of time-outs for children.
- Time-out is a short break that allows a child to calm down and re-enter a situation more successfully.
- Research in adults has shown that sitting quietly reduces anger more than expressing it.
- Time-out was found to be effective in reducing problematic behavior in the 1970s and 1980s.
- Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson argued in 2014 that time-outs are experienced as rejection by children and can make them angrier and more dysregulated.
- They suggested using "time-in" instead, which involves sitting with the child, talking, and comforting them.
- However, their brain imaging study that showed relational pain during punishment was only conducted on adults, not children.
- Dr. Siegel and Dr. Bryson later clarified that they support the appropriate use of time-outs, which involves brief breaks, explained in advance, and followed by positive feedback and connection with a parent.
- Despite this clarification, the movement against time-out continued, and some websites claim that time-out is potentially harmful or ineffective.
Research on the Effectiveness and Impact of Time-Out for Children
- Time-out is effective in improving children's behavior, according to decades of high-quality research.
- It is included in many research-backed parenting programs and has been found to decrease sibling fighting, noncompliance, aggression, and destruction of property.
- Randomized controlled trials, the highest level of scientific evidence, show that time-out increases children's compliance and reduces behavior problems.
- Time-out does not cause emotional harm or impact the parent-child relationship, according to a 2020 study.
- A study including families from different countries found that time-out was not associated with child-reported anxiety or aggression.
- Parenting programs that include time-out have been found to improve children's mental health and parent-child interactions.
- Time-out should be used in conjunction with positive parenting strategies for optimal effectiveness.
Parenting Approaches and the Use of Time-Out and Time-In
- Research has shown that a parenting program that includes time-out can improve attachment security in at-risk children.
- Secure attachment involves regular separations followed by reunions with the caregiver, making time-out potentially beneficial if implemented properly.
- Not using time-out may lead to unpredictable parent responses, which could be detrimental to the attachment relationship.
- The term "time-in" has been co-opted to refer to an alternative to time-out where parents validate and help their child calm down, but there is limited research on its effectiveness.
- Emotional validation and emotion coaching can be effective in reducing problem behaviors, but they may have age-specific effectiveness.
- Individual differences matter when it comes to co-regulation, and parents should be aware of the potential trap of paying more attention to challenging behaviors than positive behaviors.
- Staying calm as a parent is important for the effectiveness of time-in or any other parenting approach.
Considerations for Using Time-In or Time-Out as Discipline Strategies
- Time-in may be a better approach if it aligns with your child's needs and family dynamics.
- Be sensitive to your child's individual needs, whether they require physical presence or space.
- Focus on reinforcing positive behaviors rather than solely addressing negative behaviors.
- Only use time-in when you are calm yourself.
- As a parent, trust your intuition and make decisions based on what is best for your child and family.
- Time-out is an effective tool that parents can choose to use, but it is not necessary for effective parenting.
- The research on time-out is limited and does not indicate clear harms, but it may not be the best strategy for every child or family.
- Time-out should be used in conjunction with other positive parenting skills, such as emotional coaching and teaching coping strategies.
- There is a need for more research on time-out, including long-term impacts.
- Time-out can be helpful in preventing the use of harsh discipline strategies if it allows for a chance to calm down.
- It is possible to use time-out while still utilizing gentle parenting strategies like emotional validation and empathy.
Dr. Cara Goodwin - Parenting Translator Newsletter Summary
- Dr. Cara Goodwin, licensed psychologist and mother of three, provides accurate and useful information on parenting and child development.
- She recently turned her efforts into a non-profit organization to provide unbiased and free information to all parents.
- Dr. Goodwin welcomes feedback, topic suggestions, and questions from parents.
- She can be found on Instagram, TikTok, and her website.
The Effectiveness and Controversy Surrounding Time-Out as a Parenting Strategy
- Gentle parenting emphasizes empathy and responsiveness to children's needs.
- Time-out is a disciplinary measure that is opposed by some gentle parenting advocates.
- The use of time-out by the author reduced aggression between their children and improved the parent-child relationship.
- Time-out was developed as an alternative to physical punishment in the 1960s by psychologist Arthur Staats.
- Time-out aims to decrease challenging behaviors by temporarily removing positive reinforcement and providing a brief break to calm down.
- Research has shown that time-out is effective in reducing problematic behavior in children.
- Some experts argue that time-outs can be experienced as rejection by children and suggest using "time-in" instead.
- However, research on the effectiveness of "time-in" is limited.
- Time-out does not cause emotional harm or negatively impact the parent-child relationship, according to a 2020 study.
- Time-out should be used in conjunction with positive parenting strategies for optimal effectiveness.
- Parenting programs that include time-out have been found to improve children's mental health and parent-child interactions.
- Time-out may be beneficial for children's attachment security when implemented properly.
- Parents should be sensitive to their child's individual needs and focus on reinforcing positive behaviors.
- Time-out is an effective tool, but it is not necessary for effective parenting and may not be the best strategy for every child or family.
- Further research is needed to better understand the long-term impacts of time-out.
Dr. Cara Goodwin: Providing Free and Reliable Parenting Information
- Dr. Cara Goodwin is a licensed psychologist and mother of three.
- She offers accurate and useful information on parenting and child development.
- Her efforts are now directed towards a non-profit organization that provides free and unbiased information to all parents.
- Dr. Goodwin welcomes feedback, topic suggestions, and questions from parents.